South Africa

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Map of South Africa.

South Africa is a country located at the southern tip of Africa, infamous for its policy of institutionalized racism against the indigenous population, called apartheid. Following its first fully democratic elections in 1994, the country has been welcomed back into the international fold. It is also the only country in the world to have voluntarily dismantled its nuclear arsenal - if you don't count former Soviet Republics handing the nukes on their territory over to Russia, that is.

The country also boasts the world's only neo-modal national anthem (beginning and ending in different keys), as well as the world's most unpronounceable national motto: "!ke e:/xarra//k," which contains three different "clicks" when spoken.

Church and state under apartheid[edit]

See the main article on this topic: Apartheid

Between 1948 and 1994 South Africa was controlled by a nasty group of white supremacists known as the National Party.[1] That apartheid entailed the dehumanization and humiliation of millions upon millions of black South Africans is well-known. What fewer people realize is that during those dark days the South African government was enabled and supported by many Christians. The Dutch Reformed Church (known by its Afrikaans initials, NGK) and the government were as friendly as Batman and Robin; the first apartheid Prime Minister (DF Malan) was actually an ordained minister, John Vorster[2] (PM 1966 to 1978) was a sibling of the moderator of the church, and membership in the NGK was mandatory if you wanted to get anywhere in politics/civil service.[3]

The clerics provided theological, biblically-based justifications for segregation, and the politicians ensured that policies aligned well with the arch-conservative stance of the church. So, if you were a white, penis-toting, straight, Afrikaans-speaking person, apartheid was pretty damn peachy. For everyone else, it sucked. The NGK's influence insured that life in South Africa was almost as boring as the first Star Trek movie.[4] TV wasn't allowed until 1976, even the softest-core porn (hosiery advertisements, Emmanuelle, anything which showed nipple for even a second) was banned[5]), sex ed didn't exist, abortion was illegal and being gay could land you in jail.[6] Media which showed interracial relationships and black actors in positions of power were restricted. Sundays were especially pitiful, with most stores and cinemas closed.[7]


Spitting Image summed up the apartheid regime with the song "I've Never Met a Nice South African."[8][9] Nevertheless, it seems 70% finally grew up by the early 90s.[10] The 2012 movie Waiting for Sugar Man says a lot about the transition from apartheid but isn't preachy about it.

The winds of change[edit]

Thanks to the work of people like Nelson Mandela and Desmond Tutu, apartheid was dismantled from 1990 to 1993 in a series of negotiations, and the first all-race elections were held in 1994, which were won by the African National Congress. Many of the compromises struck during this time are still in place, such as having 11 official languages and a national anthem that is the bastard offspring of "Nkosi Sikilel' iAfrica" (God Bless Africa) and "Die Stem van Suid-Afrika" (The Call of South Africa). The anthem itself is a mixture of isiXhosa, isiZulu, Sesotho, Afrikaans and English.

The country has one of the most progressive constitutions in the world and was the first African country to allow gay marriage.

Linux users might know South Africa as the birthplace of the term ubuntu, a philosophy dealing with the relationship and allegiances between people.

The country has its own currency, the South African Rand (sign: R; code: ZAR). It was the 18th most traded currency worldwide in 2013, right behind the South Korean Won[11]; one Rand is currently worth about a U.S. dime. The Kruggerand is named after it.

Trevor Noah, the successor of Jon Stewart of the Daily Show is from South Africa and was in fact "born a crime" as a result of a relationship of a white Swiss man and a black Xhosa woman during apartheid.

Not a good look[edit]

Mandela in 2008.

Unfortunately, the more recent SA leaders, such as former president and the second president of the post-apartheid South Africa, Thabo Mbeki, were HIV denialists. Perhaps more sickeningly, certain segments of the country's population, largely as a result of the influence of "tribal doctors" and "spiritual healers," spread rumors that one could rid themselves of AIDS through measures such as "eating a lot of vegetables such as garlic and African potatoes," having sex with a virgin, male circumcision, and other assorted woo. In fact, "African vegetables rather than anti-HIV medication" was the official line touted by Mbeki's Minister of Health, Manto Tshabalala-Msimang. Mbeki notably banned antiretroviral drugs in public hospitals, which is believed to have been responsible for the deaths of atleast 330,000 people.

Even more interesting is the case of the 4th president, Jacob Zuma, who resigned on Valentines Day of 2018. Zuma's stance on HIV was that a shower after sex provided ample protection. Though after a sordid encounter with an HIV-positive woman, who happened to be his best friend's daughter, he may or may not be living in denial have changed his views. He only has a primary school education, and as a result of the history of traditional African lifestyles currently has three wives, although he has been married five times, and is currently engaged to wife number six.

ANC will probably retain enough votes, which isn't saying much when your opposition are bog-standard neoliberals who are still seen as too white (the DA) and Julius Malema (the EFF).

South Africa struggles with murder and have on of the highest homicide rates in the world. Cape Town is the 11th most violent city in the world.[12]

At least there's still...[edit]

Hope, the ideals of the Freedom Charter, and the current play of the national cricket team.

See also[edit]

External links[edit]



  1. See the Wikipedia article on National Party (South Africa).
  2. See the Wikipedia article on John Vorster.
  3. Ritner, S. R. (1967). The Dutch Reformed Church and Apartheid. Journal of Contemporary History, 2(4), 17-37.
  4. Zing!
  5. JCW Van Rooyen, Censorship in South Africa (Cape Town: Juta and Co., 1987), 5.
  6. BMJ 2004; 329:1415–1416 (18 December)
  7. Apartheid mythology and symbolism. Desegregated and re-invented in the service of nation building in the new South Africa: The covenant and the battle of Blood/Ncome River. Anton Ehlers. Revué Alizés, No. 24, ca. 2003.
  8. Listen here (Video no longer available)
  9. Oh the poetry of it (Site broken, now leads to random ad)
  10. See the Wikipedia article on South African apartheid referendum, 1992.
  11. Triennial Central Bank Survey, Foreign exchange turnover in April 2013: preliminary global results (PDF)
  12. See List of countries by intentional homicide rateWikipedia's W.svg.
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