Brannon Howse

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Brannon Howse is a Christian conspiracy theorist and radio host. He started as a church singer, then progressed to preaching (does this mean he can sing, you ask? No. No, it does not). His variant on the classic New World Order conspiracy has so many people in on it, it's actually much easier to describe who isn't on the inside (an incredibly small group of hardcore pre-millennialist protestants Howse calls "the remnant") than those who are. The Catholics, the United Nations, scientists, liberals, gays, etc. are all out to continue the evil plots the Jews used to be doing in the early 20th century. Their motivation? It's all for the greater glory of Satan, of course.

While Howse is a paranoid conspiracy theorist in the classic mode, he has his own unique spin that combines both the black helicopter fantasies of the extreme right survivalist types with the End Times wingnuttery of fundamentalist Christianity.

Howse's rhetorical style is charitably described as "unique," more accurately characterized as "throwing shit to see if it sticks." Every time he mentions the name of someone he doesn't like, he follows it with a long list along the lines of "who I believe is a Keynesian, a Fabian socialist, a communist, a Marxist, a radical, a Fascist" without offering any proof that the person is any of these things. Strangely, he always states that this is just "his opinion," possibly for legal reasons. It starts off annoying, gradually becomes fascinating and hilarious, and eventually morphs into a kind of bone-deep depression about the human race. It's difficult to tell if he actually thinks each of these epithets would be providing new information about the person (Oh, they're not only a Keynesian but also a Fascist! Thanks, Brannon) or if he thinks his audience is so stupid that he must constantly repeat all the things he thinks his words mean. Either possibility is depressing. Howse also has a talent for saying the most batshit insane things in the most deadpan manner imaginable, such as when he stated "Hitler was of course possessed by a demon" and then moved on from there to talk about National Socialism's lasting impact without doubling back to the whole "Adolf was inhabited by a malefic spirit" thing.

Howse remains convinced that the relatively harmless (though totally pointless) practice of contemplative prayer is occultic. He constantly claims that people are involved in pagan spirituality (which is, of course, code for "demon worship") or the one world government. He has argued that Rick Warren is actually a Marxist change agent, that transhumanism will eventually lead to the recreation of the Nephilim through demons posing as aliens, that Russia is still communist, and that the Fed is deliberately devaluing the US currency in order to move us toward socialism. It is quite clear that there is literally nothing too stupid for Howse to believe, so long as it fits into his ideas about the world and God.

Like Glenn Beck, he acts as a paid spokesman for gold sellers promoting the gold standard over floating currency. Apparently, this is the "Biblical" form of currency. This point of agreement is somewhat strange, since Howse's most recent claim to fame has been his constant attack on Beck, Mormonism, and the generic feel-good religion-esque Beck is fond of employing.

One curious feature of Howse is that he rejects anti-Semitism pretty thoroughly. He's even devoted radio programs to explaining why the whole "Jewish bankers control the world" thing is nonsense. Granted, he still believes in and worships a God who hates Jews enough to send most of them to Hell, but Howse himself seems to be free of hatred for Jews. Given the impressively long list of other things he hates (any black person who doesn't kow-tow to white supremacy, women, gays, Catholics, Liberal Christians, etc.), this lack of prejudice is a minor miracle.

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